TOP 10: Worst Nintendo Characters

This is a very special article, because instead of counting down the best of something, I am counting down the WORST of something. In particular, the worst Nintendo characters to ever be created. There might be a little debate on some of these, but most of them are simply abortions of Nintendo characters and deserve to never appear in any games ever again.

Number 10: Linebeck
First Appearance: Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS)

Linebeck is Link's companion in the sequel to Wind Waker: Phantom Hourglass. I could go on for days on why the story and other aspects of this game are the worst thing to ever happen to Zelda, but we'll leave that for another day. The reason Linebeck is one of the worst Nintendo characters in history is because he is absolutely bland, boring, and unlikeable. In addition, he is probably the ugliest character I have ever seen, looking like a mix of Robert Pattinson and Jack Skellington with a goatee. Seriously, this character is absolutely horrendous, and his reappearance in Spirit Tracks, a game that takes place 100 years AFTER Phantom Hourglass enrages me even more, as only Link and Zelda are supposed to have multiple incarnations. Even so, Linebeck isn't as bad as some of the other characters on this list.


Number 9: Metal Mario
First Appearance: Super Smash Bros. (N64)

In Super Mario 64, Mario had the ability to find a "metal cap" and temporarily become Metal Mario for a limited amount of time. I was totally okay with this. What I hate is how Nintendo began making Metal Mario his own separate character, and began using him in party games. Metal Mario has appeared in three Mario spin-off titles as a playable character: Mario Golf, Mario Tennis Open, and Mario Kart 7, none of which he should have appeared in. Mario Golf was SOMEWHAT understandable as it was around the time of Super Mario 64, but WHY IN HELL did Nintendo have to revive this joke of a character after 10 years by bringing him back in Mario Kart 7, robbing series regulars like Diddy Kong, Birdo, and Bowser Jr. of a spot in the game?? Metal Mario isn't even meant to be his own entity, so he should NOT exist in the Mario spin-off titles, especially when his character is always super overpowered and easily the best character in the game. It is a joke and Metal Mario needs to end.


Number 8: Amanda
First Appearance: Star Fox Command (DS)

Just like Phantom Hourglass, Star Fox Command was a complete abortion of a game and should have never happened. Perhaps one of the worst mistakes Nintendo made with this game was giving an already lame character an even lamer love-interest, resulting in the creation of Amanda. First of all, Amanda's design is absolutely terrible. I mean, a pink frog? You can't be a LITTLE more original? In addition, Amanda had pretty much no backstory and only served as a sappy little bitch that Slippy gets whipped by. Unlike the other female character introduced in this game, Lucy Hare, whom was somewhat decent, Amanda's ship, design, personality, and name are all bland, boring, and unnecessary. I was totally fine with Slippy having no love interest, and they could have at least done it a little bit better if they had to. Thank god most of Star Fox Command is being considered non-canon, or I would probably shoot myself with the inclusion of this terribly thought out character.


Number 7: Bucken-Berry & Ala-Gold 
First Appearance: New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)

When Nintendo announced they would be releasing a new 2D Mario game on the Wii that would support the game's first ever four player mode, I was extremely excited. When they showed that alongside Mario and Luigi, these two douches would be starring, instead of Wario and Waluigi, I was somewhat pissed. Nintendo couldn't have been a little bit more original than to add two stupid different coloured Toads as playable characters? Seriously? Wario would have been perfect, same with Waluigi. Heck, even the standard red Toad from Super Mario Bros. 2 would have made more sense than either of these two random citizens. What makes these Toads so special? Seriously, these characters are very bland and stupid and should not have been made playable characters in New Super Mario Bros. Wii or it's sequel that is hitting Wii U this year.


Number 6: Bellum
First Appearance: Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS)

Another thing Phantom Hourglass did wrong was it's terrible villain: Bellum. First of all, what kind of crap-ass design is that? A shell with a giant eye and eye tentacles? I can see that as some sort of creature or boss that is fought in the game, but as the primary antagonist? Seriously Nintendo? I'm supposed to believe this is the grand schemer who is responsible for all the terror in the game? This is the most lackluster villain in any Zelda game. I would rather Tingle be the antagonist over this piece of crap. And to make things worse, the final boss fight was Bellum inside of Linebeck's body. Great idea Nintendo, let's merge the two worst characters in the game and make them the final boss, right? Great idea! Thumbs up for you! My final criticism about Bellum is the fact that this Link just fought and killed Ganondorf in his previous adventure, and you expect me to believe that he is having trouble with this thing? Sorry Nintendo, ain't buying it. Do not make sequels to great Zelda games on DS next time.


Number 5: MB AKA Melissa Bergman
First Appearance: Metroid: Other M (Wii)

I remember the E3 when Nintendo announced Team Ninja would be working on the next Metroid title and I was so excited. Probably one of the worst games on Wii, Metroid: Other M did a lot of things wrong. One of the worst things they did was create this character, MB. Now please tell me, Nintendo. Samus just went through tons of crap to stop Mother Brain in Super Metroid, who seemed to be quite a threat to the Galaxy, and you're trying to tell me the Galactic Federation is going to take the mind of one of the most dangerous creatures in the Galaxy, replicate it, and then put it into a human body? Seriously? What a stupid idea! I literally don't know how retarded the Galactic Federation would have to be to do something like that. Team Ninja absolutely destroyed the Metroid canon with the introduction of this character and I seriously wish they never got their hands on the franchise.


Number 4: Tabuu
First Appearance: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)

Super Smash Bros. Brawl was probably my most anticipated game on Wii, maybe coming second only to Skyward Sword. Sakurai announced quite early on that the game would feature a story mode titled the Subspace Emissary. The story mode was quite decent, story and gameplay wise. I particularly enjoyed how Bowser and Wario were working for Ganondorf, who in turn was working for Master Hand. Unfortunately, they ruined that when they introduced this guy. Okay, maybe Tabuu isn't that bad character wise, but his design is horrendous? A butterfly? Seriously? You should have just stuck to the giant hand Nintendo. Also, I'm supposed to believe that Tabuu wiped out almost every single Nintendo character with one attack, then put up next to no fight because SONIC THE HEDGEHOG weakened him? WTF Nintendo?? It's a Nintendo game and you have Sonic the Hedgehog save the day against what is apparently a god? I hope this guy doesn't appear in Smash Bros 4. I would seriously rather they introduce Master Hand's other body parts: Master Foot, Master Head, heck, even Master Penis before I see this guy again.


Number 3: Honey Queen
First Appearance: Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)

The Bee Suit and the Bee World of Super Mario Galaxy were some of the most fun in the game. Honey Queen was in the game, played no big role or anything, and was just there. So tell me Nintendo, WHY THE HELL did you feel the need to put her into Mario Kart 7? I do not think there was one Nintendo fan out there saying "Hey, I think I want the fat-ass bee queen from Mario Galaxy to be playable in Mario Kart." You literally please nobody with that roster choice, and as said before, you robbed fans of series veterans like Diddy, Birdo, Bowser Jr, or even Petey Pirahna for God's sake. This was just a terrible choice of character. Please stop trying to surprise people with the roster choices and just stick to who we already love.


Number 2: Fi
First Appearance: Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii)

The concept of Fi was probably one of the best ideas Nintendo had. The idea of a dormant Spirit within the Master Sword who would help tell the tale of how the Master Sword was originally forged was brilliant. Her design is flawless as well, taking on the exact shape of the Master Sword. The big problem with Fi is the fact that Skyward Sword, the first chronological Zelda game, which is already a medieval sort of world, now somehow has robots, and Fi is one of them. Please tell me, Nintendo. Why is the ancient spirit of a powerful sword speaking like a robot? Why? Seriously? I don't want to hear her say "Link, there is an 11% chance the Zelda will sleep with you tonight." Everything about Fi's personality was horrendously unlikeable and it makes her the worst Zelda character and companion in history. In addition, Fi and Link don't even have any sort of relationship with each other throughout the game, and then they try to pull a Twilight Princess ending where Fi will forever be lost and Link is supposed to be upset about that? If I was Link, I'd be like, hell yeah! The human calculator is finally off my case yelling stupid statistics in my ear when this like the year 7 BC. Fi is the worst Zelda character because she had SO MUCH potential and it was all thrown down the drain with terrible writing.


Number 1: Baby Daisy
First Appearance: Mario Kart Wii (Wii)

Now, you have read my explanations on Honey Queen and Metal Mario and why I absolutely hate them. Baby Daisy takes the cake for these exact same reasons, except for one more little thing. BABY DAISY IS NOT EVEN A CHARACTER. Honey Queen and even Metal Mario had at least been featured in a game before stealing a spot in Mario Kart, but Baby Daisy had never been pre-established, mentioned, or created and still wound up taking a spot in Mario Kart Wii. First of all, let me just say I hate the baby characters in general and see no point to them. First of all, why are babies driving cars and why are their parents allowing this? And also, why are parents allowing these babies to come within 100 meters of Waluigi, who I am PRETTY SURE is a registered child molester. Baby Daisy was a lazy character created by Nintendo because they were too lazy to add another character as anything other than a palette swap. Honestly, I would have even preferred Baby Wario or Baby Donkey Kong over this piece of crap, at least they were pre-established. But this. This just pissed me off on levels I can't even explain. Have your way with this character Waluigi, please. I am begging you. Take her into an ally, do whatever you want to her, and then kill her so she never appears in any form of anything in another Nintendo game ever again. Thank you.


Honourable Mentions:

Dunsparce- Pokemon Gold & Pokemon Silver
Shuckle- Pokemon Gold & Pokemon Silver
Lakilester- Paper Mario
Madame Flurry- Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Giuliano V.