Ten Pokemon That Would Be Really Useful in Reality

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we had Pokemon? I have. In fact, there are some Pokemon that would make life so much better in so many different ways. Here are ten Pokemon who would provide solutions to many of the problems found in the real world.

1. Chansey

Do you live in a country other than Canada that doesn't cover your health care? Do you suffer from terminal diseases, hypothermia or severe burns? Are you currently dying of poisoning or have you been pushed into a deep coma? Well guess what? Chansey is the answer to all of these problems. If everyone in the world owned a Chansey, there would be no need for medicine or doctors. Chansey can cure just about anything. Unfortunately, this would leave many doctors without a job, but if it means saving the lives of many, who cares!

2. Musharna

Let's be honest: most of us think we have insomnia. We are unable to sleep at night and then are dead in the morning, causing us to sleep through our "important" classes. Well here is the solution! Musharna can make sure we go to sleep when we want, not when our body decides to. And as an added bonus, we can basically dream about whatever we want! Cool, huh?

3. Abra

Crap, my alarm went off an hour late and now I have to be at my exam in TWO MINUTES! If only I had something that could instantly teleport me from Point A to Point B. Abra would be the solution to this! No more leaving early to anticipate traffic. No more cars. No more public transit. Abra is good for one thing in the Pokemon universe: teleporting, and while it serves next to no purpose there, it would be literally one of the most useful things here! That is...if we can keep those damn Abras from teleporting away from us!'

4. Gengar

Unfortunately, this world has a major problem and it is called Bullying. While the media tells us to band together and stand up for ourselves, wear pink, tell an adult or some of that other crap that doesn't actually stop bullying, Gengar would be the perfect solution to this. If a bully messes with you, they are in for some real payback. You send this motherf*cker to their house to give them nightmares that will torment and destroy them slowly, making them wish they never messed with someone who REALLY knows how to make someone's life a living hell. You f*ck with me and Gengar is gonna f*ck the shit out of you.

5. Castform

"Hey guys, let's go to the beach for a fun day in the...oh crap, it started to rain." "I sure hope this snow continues so class gets cancelled...oh crap, the Sun came out on the worst day possible!" Say goodbye to weathering woes like this with Castform! You now control the weather, and you can MAKE SURE it suits your needs. Of course, not everyone can have a Castform, just you. You dictate the weather. Make sure it fits your needs and screw everybody else because they aren't as cool as you because you have a Castform.

6. Jirachi

Make a wish! Jirachi grants one wish to whomever comes across it, so why not make it count? You can wish for anything! World peace...true love...the never-ending torment of those who silently judge your every move...whatever you want!

7. Garbodor

Yes, Garbador is perhaps the shittiest Pokemon every created, both figuratively and literally. However, in our world, Garbodor would solve a MAJOR problem. Did you know that Garbodor eats garbage? He EATS it. No more mountains of garbage that we have to ship out to sea or bury beneath the Earth's crust. Instead, we just feed it to a bunch of these guys and voila! Gone!.............but then again, we'd have a bunch of living trash monsters walking around....so maybe that isn't such a good idea after all.

8. Celebi

Crap! I wish I didn't hook up with that disgusting 800 pound mustachio chick last night. Wait...that was a dude cosplaying as Wario? Dude! How drunk was I? Thank god you have a Celebi at your disposal that can bring you back in time to Falcon Punch yourself out before you make that mistake. Seriously, you will never make a bad decision in your life again!......except for when you cause multiple time rifts that destroy the very fabric of reality itself...but hey, it's better than hooking up with an overweight donkey named Morris.

9. Delibird

We've all wanted this since we were children! A real life Santa Claus! Christmas would actually become something magical and exciting again, instead of just a time where you're forced to sit in a room with the family members you see twice a year as you desperately try to stay awake until midnight so you can all hug and say "Merry Christmas" before going back to bed. But you better be on the Nice List, because Delibird doesn't give coal to the bad kids...he gives bombs...so basically, if you aren't nice, all you and your family are going to get for Christmas is a horrific and fiery death!!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

10. Ditto

Need I say more?

Article By:

Giuliano V. 

REVIEW: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

Reviewed By: Giuliano V.

Platform: PS3

Gameplay: 7

Lightning Returns introduces a heavily-altered version of the combat system from Final Fantasy XIII & XIII-2. In some ways, the combat is watered down, in other ways, it is more action-packed and full of depth. If you prefer gameplay that is set more in real-time and more action-based, then you will likely prefer the combat of Lightning Returns. However, I prefer the system from Final Fantasy XIII & XIII-2, simply because it is more reminiscent of a typical JRPG. 

The difficulty curve in Lightning Returns is also completely disorganized. I had to restart my game after reaching the first boss because Normal Mode became too difficult, especially because the game's tutorials do a lousy job of teaching you how you use the new combat system. Even on Easy Mode, the game can pose quite a challenge, and while you may breeze through most of the game, the final boss will still likely give you a run for your money, as it is insanely harder than anything encountered prior.

The doomsday-clock provides the player with 13 days before you are forced to face the final boss. While this may seem silly, it really isn't all that bad. In fact, you will likely be done the main missions by the sixth day, leaving you either six days to skip or to do side-quests.

Story: 8.5

The story of Lightning Returns may be a little far-fetched, but at least it ties up loose-ends. Each of the main characters in the series gets their own little portion of the story devoted to them and ultimately gets a somewhat good ending. Lightning's character actually seems to have undergone an actual journey in this game, as opposed to the previous two games where she did not really seem to have undergone any sort of change throughout the entire story. Even the villain of the previous game, Caius Ballad, gets a great ending. However, the story of Noel Kreiss that begun in Final Fantasy XIII-2 was wrapped up too quickly and suddenly, and did not receive the amount of focus it should have. This story may have been made just to wrap up the saga, but it did a great job of giving us a final taste of all our favourite characters and giving them satisfying closures to their stories.

While the personal stories of the characters may not be breathtaking, the way the story deals with the mythos of the Fabula Nova Crystallis is amazing. While I will not spoil the plot, I will just say that the conflict between the gods told in the game's lore truly comes to full circle, and when you take this into account, the story is actually quite brilliant.

Sound: 8.5

One part of the Lightning Saga that has never failed to impress is the soundtrack. Mixing music from both Final Fantasy XIII and XIII-2 along with some new tracks made for a great soundtrack to the game. In fact, there are even some tunes from previous Final Fantasy games thrown in the mix, so there is tons of audible pleasure to be found within the game.

Presentation: 8

The visuals of the game itself are quite visually stunning, even if it is the third time we've seen a style like this. There is a lack of variety of enemy types, which was a common problem in the predecessors, but the beautiful environments given to us in the game more than make up for it. Lightning Returns actually offers us a true open-world experience that was lacking from XIII and XIII-2. The world is quite grand and full of tons of colourful characters, which is always nice to see in an RPG.

Lasting Appeal: 6.5

While the game does have over 60 side-quests in addition to the five main quests and countless "Canvas Quests," most of them are fetch-quests, which is quite disappointing, especially when the only reward is a lacklustre extra dungeon. There is a New Game+ that allows the player to keep most of their inventory and face harder versions of the bosses and enemies, but there is not much in the game to warrant a second play through unless you are a diehard fan of the series. To be fair, one play through of the game will take somewhere between 15 and 30 hours depending on how many side quests you want to do, but there isn't much else enticing further replay ability. 

Final Verdict: 7.6 / 10

Lightning Returns strays too far from the predecessors in attempt to gain a fanbase it had lost with the first game. Unfortunately, this was not as satisfying for fans of the previous games, who were hoping to have a third game that would play more like the predecessors. Even so, Lightning Returns is a decent game that adequately closes up the Final Fantasy XIII Saga and is recommended to any fan of the series.

Article By:

Giuliano V. 

Throwback Reviews: Chrono Cross

Chrono Cross

Reviewed By: Giuliano V.

Platform: PS1

Gameplay: 10

Chrono Cross is the pinnacle of JRPG gameplay. While most turn-based RPGs tend to be shallow and boring, Chrono Cross' battle system is engaging and never seems to bore throughout the game. There are very few turn-based RPGs where one actually wants to battle every single enemy because the battle system is so good, and Chrono Cross is definitely the perfect example of this. In addition, the Element system in the game merges what would be items and magic in most other games, and it works out in a surprisingly great way that keeps the battle system fresh and simple to understand while still maintaining a sense of depth.

Story: 10

When I first began playing Chrono Cross, I was afraid that the story of the game would ruin the story of Chrono Trigger, which is one of my favourite stories in gaming. However, Chrono Cross' story is an absolute masterpiece. It builds the story of Chrono Trigger, further enhancing the narrative, but at the same time, also stands as a timeless tale on its own. While someone would benefit greatly from being familiar with the story of Chrono Trigger, it is not necessary to understand the story at all, as any relevant information from the first is explained in great detail when it becomes relevant in the story of Chrono Cross. In fact, the story of Chrono Cross even rivals Chrono Trigger's in terms of quality. Also, there are 45 party members you can recruit throughout the game, and while one would think this would cause a lack of development, that is far from the case. True, many of the characters are not as developed as characters like Frog or Magus from Chrono Trigger, but they do receive a good deal of development and are unique enough that every character feels like they belong in the story, and any combo of characters would fit your journey well. Chrono Cross is a story stricken with imagery, fantastic character development and inspiring ideas that I truly believe to be one of the greatest video gaming has to offer.

Sound: 10

While there are a few tracks that can get annoying if they are played enough, 90% of Chrono Cross' soundtrack is entirely original and can get your emotions going. Whether it be a fun tune playing while you are on the S.S. Invincible, a gentle lullaby playing in times of sadness or even epic boss battle music, Chrono Cross' soundtrack delivers an experience unlike any other, and once again, rivals its predecessor on so many levels.

Presentation: 10

One of the best things about Chrono Trigger was seeing how the world changed as you traveled to different points in time. In the same way, Chrono Cross displays how the world changes depending on choices individuals made in an alternate dimension, so while most of the game takes place within the same general areas, you can always see the effects of certain choices between the two parallel dimensions. The graphics are top-notch for its time. So many critics praise the visuals of Final Fantasy VII, but I think Chrono Cross is a much more impressive game visually. The character models, level designs, interesting boss designs and beautiful cutscenes all make the game as much of a visual experience as it is a gaming, storytelling and music experience. 

Lasting Appeal: 10

Do not get me started on how much there is to do in Chrono Cross. As I stated before, there are 45 party members. However, not all of these party members are recruited in the narrative, and almost half of them require the player to go out of their way to recruit. In addition, not all of the characters can even be recruited in one play through, as certain actions open up certain characters but lock out others, so multiple playthroughs are necessary to recruit all 45 party members. In addition, each party member has a unique powerful move that can only be obtained by doing side quests around the game world. Much like Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross also has multiple endings that can only be obtained by fighting the final boss at various points during the game in a New Game +. When starting up New Game +, the player has access to all of their equipment and elements, so they are fit to take on the final boss at any point, and doing so at certain times will result in one of twelve unique endings. An average play through of the game is around 25 hours, so trust me, with all of these side quests, scenarios and endings, you are looking at well-over 100 hours of playtime for someone who wants to experience everything Chrono Cross has to offer.

Final Verdict: 10 / 10

When I first started up this blog, I always told myself I would never give a game a perfect score. However, after playing such a masterpiece, I would not be doing the game justice if I gave it anything but a perfect score. Chrono Cross is a masterpiece from the past I wish I played sooner, but always feared because of my intense love for its predecessor. Thankfully, after completing the game, I can say that Chrono Cross goes down with Chrono Trigger as one of the greatest games of all-time, and is a true piece of art in all senses. I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for a fantastic and unforgettable experience. 

Article By:

Giuliano V.

10 Game Franchises In Need of a New Entry

There have been many video game franchises over the history of gaming that people just loved that simply are not around anymore. Some disappeared quite recently, some have been gone for generations. Here are ten video game franchises that I believe are in desperate need of a new entry.

Paper Mario

Last Entry: Paper Mario: Sticker Star (2012)

While Paper Mario did have a new entry not long ago, it has been years since it has had a game that stuck to the style of its roots. Super Paper Mario took out the turn-based gameplay of the series, and when it was reintroduced in Paper Mario: Sticker Star, the entire levelling and battling system were butchered with some new "sticker" gimmick. The last time a true Paper Mario game was released was in 2004 with Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Nintendo needs to stop with this gimmicky bullcrap and let Intelligent Systems go back to the roots and make a true sequel to The Thousand-Year Door for the Wii U.

Jak & Daxter

Last Entry: Jak & Daxter: The Lost Frontier (2009)

Jak & Daxter was a fantastic platforming series for the PS2 that never got an instalment on the PS3. Instead, Naughty Dog devoted all their time to Uncharted and The Last of Us, and while those games were fantastic, it would be nice if Naughty Dog took this old duo out of hiding and gave them a true sequel to 2004's Jak 3. Even if Naughty Dog doesn't want to do it, Sony should be looking to find a studio who could revive the franchise, such as Insomniac who works on the Ratchet & Clank series or even Sanzaru Games who recently revived another PS2-era favourite: Sly Cooper. 

Metroid Prime

Last Entry: Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (2007)

Metroid Prime was one of the best things to ever happen to the Metroid series, and when the third game ended with a little bit of a cliffhanger, fans believed that Retro Studios would eventually return and make a sequel. Even if the game is not a sequel story-wise, a new First-Person Metroid game from Retro Studios would suffice. Samus doesn't seem to get many games nowadays, and we need to see more action from one of the most beloved heroines in video gaming.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Last Entry: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - 

The Sith Lords (2004)

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republics is one of the greatest Western RPGs ever created. While Bioware has brought us some other great franchises like Mass Effect and Dragon Age, it is time that Knights of the Old Republic got a true third entry instead of the MMO that is currently active. If there are two things this world cannot get enough of, it is RPGs and Star Wars games, so EA needs to put those Star Wars Exclusive Game Rights to use and get Bioware to make this happen.

Darksiders

Last Entry: Darksiders II (2012)

Darksiders II was released a mere year and half ago, right before THQ went bankrupt and closed down. The Darksiders IP did find a new home with Nordic Games, but will it ever see the light of day? Vigil created an epic gaming world with this series, and the story was far from finished. It would be extremely sad if Nordic Games chose not to put this IP to use, because Darksiders needs at least one more entry to end this epic saga.

Fallout

Last Entry: Fallout: New Vegas (2010)

Fallout is one of those series that could go on forever, yet its future is never truly certain. While many of us expect Fallout 4, the developers continuously deny its existence. We are hoping this is only a way to keep the game hidden from the public, because it would be a shame if Fallout 4 never came to be. Fallout 3 was a fantastic title, and New Vegas was also a solid entry in the series. Now as we enter the new generation of consoles, we need a new post-apocalyptic region to explore in glorious 1080p.

Star Fox

Last Entry: Star Fox 64 3D (2011)

Star Fox has not had a real entry since 2006 with the release of Star Fox: Command. And even then, Star Fox Command's story has been retconned from the series canon, which means the story has not been developed since 2005's Star Fox: Assault. Star Fox is definitely one of those underrated Nintendo franchises that never gets enough games because of lack of sales. However, Star Fox is a fantastic series, and it was a shame to see it excluded during the Wii era, so hopefully Nintendo decides to bring back the Star Fox team in HD on the Wii U sometime in the near future. 

EarthBound

Last Entry: Mother 3 (2006)

EarthBound is a retro Nintendo franchise that seriously needs to be revived. Mother 3, the series' last entry, was only ever released in Japan, so North America has not had an EarthBound title since 1995. Fans want this series to continue. There is a huge following for the series, so much that it got the attention of Nintendo to finally release EarthBound on Wii U Virtual Console. Perhaps if the demand is loud enough, Nintendo will remake Mother 3 on 3DS, and hopefully, if that sells well, they will develop a brand new game in the franchise.

Chrono

Last Entry: Chrono Cross (2000)

The Chrono Series is arguably the best series of RPGs ever created, still able to entice players nowadays despite their age. This has lead to multiple re-releases of Chrono Trigger over the past decade, such as on the DS, iOS and Playtation Network. A third game, Chrono Break, was once a possibility, but the trademark was dropped by SquareEnix for unknown reasons. It is unfortunate that this unbelievable series never got a third entry, and SquareEnix needs to start realizing that people have had enough of Lightning and the Final Fantasy XIII franchise and start putting people on better projects, such as a new Chrono game.

Banjo-Kazooie

Last Entry: Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (2008)

Banjo-Kazooie never got the "Banjo-Threeie" that was promised by Gruntilda's dismantled head at the end of Banjo-Tooie. Instead, Microsoft gave us Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. As my friends and I like to say, it wasn't that Nuts & Bolts was a bad game, it was just a bad Banjo-Kazooie game. What fans really want is a true platforming sequel to the beloved games we played on the N64. Seriously Microsoft, why would you buy out Rareware from Nintendo if you were not going to take advantage of their main asset? I guess we can only hope for two things: either Microsoft pulls their head out of their ass and actually makes a game that people want or hopefully Nintendo somehow reacquires Rare in the future and finally creates the long awaited sequel to Banjo-Tooie.

Article By:

Giuliano V.

10 Characters We Want in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U / 3DS

While it is still months away, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U / 3DS is getting closer and closer to finally seeing the light of day. Last year, we covered who we thought were contenders for the roster, based on popularity and other factors. Now, we want to tell you who WE want to see on the roster. Here are our the 10 characters we want to see in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U / 3DS (within reason, of course).

Giuliano's Pick #1

Custom Robo

Series: Custom Robo

Custom Robo is one of those obscure Nintendo franchises that has yet to see a playable representation in the Super Smash Bros. series. While any Custom Robo would suffice, the most likely candidate is one of the "Ray" series characters that serve as the default robot in most of the games. Custom Robo would offer a unique character from a series that definitely needs to be brought back into the limelight.

Matteo's Pick #1

Paper Mario

Series: Paper Mario

While the Mario series already has tons of representation, we have not seen much outside of the main series. It would be nice to see representation from some of Mario's other ventures, and who better to represent that than Paper Mario? Paper Mario has many abilities that the Mario from the main series does not, and while some may believe he would be a clone character, Paper Mario would offer not only a diverse moveset, but also a diverse look.

Gino's Pick #1

King Boo

Series: Super Mario / Luigi's Mansion

2013 and 2014 have been dubbed "The Year of Luigi" by Nintendo. So why not add Luigi's main antagonist, King Boo, to the mix? King Boo could offer a whole new way of play, and also redefine Luigi as a character. It is about time we had some Luigi's Mansion representation in Super Smash Bros.

Justin's Pick #1

Palutena

Series: Kid Icarus

Before beginning work on Super Smash Bros. for Wii U / 3DS, Mr. Sakurai created Kid Icarus: Uprising. This, as well as a large request, makes Lady Palutena a likely candidate for a slot on the roster. Not only that, but it is always nice to have some more female representation, and Lady Palutena would offer some great moveset potential and rival even Zelda in magic.

Riley's Pick #1

Simon Belmont

Series: Castlevania

While Simon Belmont is a third-party character from Konami, the same studio behind Metal Gear Solid and Solid Snake, who was present in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Simon would also be a great addition to the roster. Unlike Snake, Simon Belmont has a long history on Nintendo consoles, and being a fan-favorite and unique character, would be a welcome addition to the Super Smash Bros. roster (as long as he does not replace Solid Snake in the process). 

Giuliano's Pick #2

Chrom & Lucina

Series: Fire Emblem

Fire Emblem: Awakening was one of the most successful and well-recieved 3DS titles of 2013, and it was thanks to its wonderful cast of characters. Awakening highlighted the new "partner" system in Fire Emblem, so what better to represent it than a tag-team duo of the two main protagonists: Chrom & Lucina. Not only would this allow for a new Fire Emblem rep that would stray further from past reps, but it would also allow for two fan-favorite characters to enter the fight!

Matteo's Pick #2

King K. Rool

Series: Donkey Kong

There has been a long debate over whether Dixie Kong or King K. Rool would be the next Donkey Kong fighter. We here at LifesAHammer take the side of King K. Rool, and that is because he is much more unique and much more important to the series. Aside from Nintendo's Big 3, Donkey Kong is the best-selling series, and it deserves to have its main villain as a fighter, even if he has not appeared in quite a few years.

Gino's Pick #2

Bowser Jr.

Series: Super Mario

We were hopeful that Bowser Jr. would have entered the fight as Super Mario's fifth playable fighter before Rosalina was revealed a couple months ago. However, we are still hopeful that Bowser Jr. will join the cast. Bowser Jr. is definitely one of the more unique Mario characters and would utilize a fun moveset with his paintbrush that would add a new variety of fighter to the Mario series.

Justin's Pick #2

Shulk

Series: Xenoblade

Nintendo acquired Monolith Soft not long ago, and out of this acquisition came the fantastic cult-favorite game Xenoblade Chronicles. Many are hopeful that the main character, Shulk, will be represented in Super Smash Bros. and we are happy to say that we are part of those people. Shulk, much like Marth and Roy in Super Smash Bros. Melee, may be unknown to the masses, but the inclusion of his character could spark more interest that it would not only help Super Smash Bros, but also Monolith Soft's upcoming Wii U game: X.

Riley's Pick #2

Ridley

Series: Metroid

Let's be honest, Ridley is basically the only major Nintendo character who is not a fighter yet. Sure, there are some size issues, but they are nothing that the development team cannot fix. I mean, Olimar is supposed to be smaller than Mario's shoe, so why can't Ridley be the size of King Dedede? Aside from the Big 3 and maybe Donkey Kong, Metroid is the biggest Nintendo franchise, definitely on par with Kirby and much bigger than Star Fox. So if Star Fox and Kirby can have three playable fighters, why can't Metroid? Ridley is long overdue and there is absolutely no excuse for him to not be included in the game. You can't run from this forever, Sakurai. At some point, you are going to have to put Ridley in as a fighter, so better earlier than later so you can please many aggravated fans who are already angry he was not playable in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

We hope you enjoyed this article. Look out for more Smash related articles leading up to its release later this year!

Article By:

Giuliano V.

Matteo C.

Gino C.

Justin D.

Riley D.

Top 10 Mega Evolutions

As stated in the previous article, we want to acknowledge who our favourite Mega Evolutions are from Generation VI. We loved the concept, so why not show those Megas some love? Here are the Top 10 Mega Evolutions.

Number 10

Mega Pinsir

Type: Bug / Flying

Exclusive: X Only

Number 9

Mega Houndoom

Type: Dark / Fire

Exclusive: Y Only

Number 8

Mega Absol

Type: Dark

Exclusive: No

Number 7

Mega Blastoise

Type: Water

Exclusive: No

Number 6

Mega Mewtwo Y

Type: Psychic

Exclusive: Y Only

Number 5

Mega Heracross

Type: Bug / Fighting

Exclusive: Y Only

Number 4

Mega Alakazam

Type: Psychic

Exclusive: No

Number 3

Mega Blaziken

Type: Fire / Fighting

Exclusive: Event Only

Number 2

Mega Lucario

Type: Fighting / Steel

Exclusive: No

Number 1

Mega Charizard Y

Type: Fire / Flying

Exclusive: Y Only

Article By:

Giuliano V.

Matteo C.

Top 10 Best Generation VI Pokemon

We think we've given Pokemon X & Y enough time to finally judge which Pokemon introduced are the best of the litter. So without further ado, here are the Top 10 Generation VI Pokemon (not including Mega Evolutions which will be in a later Top 10 list).

Number 10

Sylveon

Type: Fairy

Number 9

Tyrantrum

Type: Rock / Dragon

Number 8

Trevenant

Type: Ghost / Grass

Number 7

Aegislash

Type: Steel / Ghost

Number 6

Pangoro

Type: Fighting / Dark

Number 5

Talonflame

Type: Fire / Flying

Number 4

Hawlucha

Type: Fighting / Flying

Number 3

Chespin

Type: Grass

Number 2

Greninja

Type: Water / Dark

Number 1

Pyroar (Male)

Type: Fire / Normal

Article By:

Giuliano V.

Matteo C.